What amazes me is, it will never stop! I was a bullied child. I moved to a new school when I was seven, in a town where I knew no one. I was a shy little girl, so it was hard for me to make friends. My mom tried to get me active so I would make friends but it was so difficult for me. I don't remember a distinct incident until about middle school. I was afraid to change in the locker room in middle school, because I did not wear a bra and the other girls would make fun of me, I was 10! Let me back up....
When I was 9, I was in a car accident and I the left side of my face flew into the front seat of the car, at first there was no damage, but ultimately it damaged some of the nerves in my left eye, and my left eye started to droop over the next couple years. My mom took me to have surgery done, and after two surgeries on my eyes, its still not correct. People try and tell me its not noticeable, well if that's the case, the kids in my school sure did notice it. My dad bought me pants one time that the "cool" kids wore and I wore them to school thinking it would help, instead the kids made fun of me for trying to be cool.
The kids would call me lazy eye. Around 7th grade I started wearing all black and big pants, at least with this group of kids I was socially accepted. Although this caused for me to be made fun of more. I started dating my first serious boyfriend, and for the first time felt life was good, I could ignore the insults because at least I had my friends to lean on (some kids have no one)
Needless to say we broke up, and high school came around, I hated my first two years of high school! The lazy eye comments continued, mostly by the class ahead of me. I was so afraid of my peers I would constantly miss school, I was always cautious of what I said, and how I said, I was terrified to have to get up in front of anyone and make a speech or answer a question. One time I wore wedge shoes that laced up, and the laces around my legs came undone, so I was shuffling to my locker so I could retie them, and a girl said to me "if you cannot walk in them, maybe you shouldn't wear them" Okay no big deal right, but I was mortified, as anyone in high school with no confidence would be. I would get calls to my cell phone from an unknown number calling me lazy eye, and telling me how disgusting I was. Its not just the big comments, its the snide comments that were made on the side as well. I absolutely hated going to school, because of the kids.
Then everything changed.... I threw a party for my sweet 16, and it was the start to many. Guess what, I became socially accepted, I made friends with people who would never have looked my way, had I not started throwing parties. Although I "fit" in, I never really "fit" in, I never felt comfortable, or felt like I had good friends. I look back on the "friends" I had in high school, I talk to no one, with the exception of two people that were friends with me before the parties. I am fortunate that I am a strong women, who refuses to give up, and is making something of herself. Even when the bullying was going on for me, I had a support system, I had friends I could lean on, there are some children that don't. I did not touch on half of the things I went through, I just skimmed the surface, partly because its too long.
Next time you judge someone, or make fun of them for the clothes they wear, remember you don't know their story. You have no idea what has happened in their life for them to be that way. Why do we care so much how someone dresses, or how they do their hair, or how they are, and what they believe, or what color of skin they are. I REFUSE to make fun of someone, unless its harmless and in good fun. High school is just a small part of your life, unfortunately some kids come out emotionally scared from their peers, and some kids will never make it out at all.
*If some other girl is dating your boy friend, guess what, its not the girls fault its your boyfriends, don't bring her down, for his mistake, if you love someone that's willing to do that to you, than that is your fault. (This is what happened to Phoebe Prince)
No comments:
Post a Comment