Bullying

So after the incident with Phoebe Prince (if you don't know what I am talking about google it), I have seen a lot of post on social networking sites about stopping the bullying. I thought well no better time than now to blog about it.

What amazes me is, it will never stop! I was a bullied child. I moved to a new school when I was seven, in a town where I knew no one. I was a shy little girl, so it was hard for me to make friends. My mom tried to get me active so I would make friends but it was so difficult for me. I don't remember a distinct incident until about middle school. I was afraid to change in the locker room in middle school, because I did not wear a bra and the other girls would make fun of me, I was 10! Let me back up....

When I was 9, I was in a car accident and I the left side of my face flew into the front seat of the car, at first there was no damage, but ultimately it damaged some of the nerves in my left eye, and my left eye started to droop over the next couple years. My mom took me to have surgery done, and after two surgeries on my eyes, its still not correct. People try and tell me its not noticeable, well if that's the case, the kids in my school sure did notice it. My dad bought me pants one time that the "cool" kids wore and I wore them to school thinking it would help, instead the kids made fun of me for trying to be cool.

The kids would call me lazy eye. Around 7th grade I started wearing all black and big pants, at least with this group of kids I was socially accepted. Although this caused for me to be made fun of more. I started dating my first serious boyfriend, and for the first time felt life was good, I could ignore the insults because at least I had my friends to lean on (some kids have no one)

Needless to say we broke up, and high school came around, I hated my first two years of high school! The lazy eye comments continued, mostly by the class ahead of me. I was so afraid of my peers I would constantly miss school, I was always cautious of what I said, and how I said, I was terrified to have to get up in front of anyone and make a speech or answer a question. One time I wore wedge shoes that laced up, and the laces around my legs came undone, so I was shuffling to my locker so I could retie them, and a girl said to me "if you cannot walk in them, maybe you shouldn't wear them" Okay no big deal right, but I was mortified, as anyone in high school with no confidence would be. I would get calls to my cell phone from an unknown number calling me lazy eye, and telling me how disgusting I was. Its not just the big comments, its the snide comments that were made on the side as well. I absolutely hated going to school, because of the kids.

Then everything changed.... I threw a party for my sweet 16, and it was the start to many. Guess what, I became socially accepted, I made friends with people who would never have looked my way, had I not started throwing parties. Although I "fit" in, I never really "fit" in, I never felt comfortable, or felt like I had good friends. I look back on the "friends" I had in high school, I talk to no one, with the exception of two people that were friends with me before the parties. I am fortunate that I am a strong women, who refuses to give up, and is making something of herself. Even when the bullying was going on for me, I had a support system, I had friends I could lean on, there are some children that don't. I did not touch on half of the things I went through, I just skimmed the surface, partly because its too long.

Next time you judge someone, or make fun of them for the clothes they wear, remember you don't know their story. You have no idea what has happened in their life for them to be that way. Why do we care so much how someone dresses, or how they do their hair, or how they are, and what they believe, or what color of skin they are. I REFUSE to make fun of someone, unless its harmless and in good fun. High school is just a small part of your life, unfortunately some kids come out emotionally scared from their peers, and some kids will never make it out at all.

*If some other girl is dating your boy friend, guess what, its not the girls fault its your boyfriends, don't bring her down, for his mistake, if you love someone that's willing to do that to you, than that is your fault. (This is what happened to Phoebe Prince)

Hippie

Today I decided to actually look up the definition of a hippie, and I can admit, I was surprised by the result: "a usually young person who rejects the mores of established society (as by dressing unconventionally or favoring communal living) and advocates a nonviolent ethic" Now, I am called a hippie all the time with my free-spirit way of life, I love being barefoot, am naturally drawn to the outdoors, and I love the sound of good ol' rock n roll. However my views are usually more on the conservative side, and I wondered if that went against the term hippie. As you can see by the definition my conservative views actually define me more as a hippe in this day and age, because I "reject the mores of established society" meaning I reject all the liberal babble that is going on in Society now a days, and I also am very against all violence. I myself was surprised to find, that the actual definition suited me more than I thought, with the exception that I don't dress unconventionally (but lets be honest, what is unconventional now a days).

Time Flies.

For this next post, I apologize if its a little scattered, I have lots to say, and just not enough time to say it. Michael will be 3 in 3 months? Holy Moly, where did the time go? I feel like just yesterday I was anxiously awaiting his arrival. I take a look back at my life, and all the things that have changed in the last 5 years! Yes I said it, 5 years , it will have been 5 years this May since I graduated high school, with hopes and aspirations about life, and love. I did not make an attempt at college, I have never been one for school, I was lost when I graduated high school, you think you are an adult, you think being 18 and being done with high school makes you know everything. Quite the contrary I find out, I am going to be 23 next month, and am still learning and growing up.

I've made some mistakes in my life, but nothing worth regretting. I've actually come quite far, for someone who didn't know a whole lot out of high school. One of my biggest advantages in life was leaving this little town called Wickliffe. I still dread going home, and seeing people I went to school with, I feel as though I have been able to see things outside of this box called Wickliffe, and they will never know what thats like. I've learned about good old southern charm, and a different way of life, and now I am learning the life of a fast paced city, where the opportunities are endless. I'm not saying Wickliffe is a bad place, because by no means is it, I often long for the comfort of the town I grew up in, but we are only given one life. And by all means I am going to make the best of this life God has given me. I want to be someone. I have such high goals and aspirations, I have found a career driven women inside of me, someone who works hard for what she wants, and goes after it. I am excited for what my life has to offer, and all the things life has to show me. I am excited to share this journey with the people I care about most. God has really looked down on me, and given me a great thing.

Michael Pooped on my Heart

A little comic relief for all parents out there, and I'm sure others will enjoy this also. I love being a Mommy so much, that I cut out and laminated all different shapes, and we put them on Michael's walls, so we could do some "shape searching", Michael absolutely loves telling us what shapes they are, and the colors.

Well this morning, Michael woke up, and I could hear him playing in his room, but because I actually had a date night out with Nate last night, and we strolled in at about 2am, I was reluctant to get out of bed this morning, so I lie there awake, thinking about how I really should get out of my nice warm bed, but Michael sounded so sweet playing, so I guess I could lie there a little longer. Well I heard Michael start talking, "Mommy are you awake, Mommy?" and then I heard something interesting, "Mommy, Michael has to go potty, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy there is poop on the heart," at this point I am like what in the world is this boy talking about. You see, we are in the potty training process, but Michael just doesn't really care, and its been a very difficult process. Anyways, I get up, and open the door to find my little man, completely naked with one slipper on(he always only has one sock, or one shoe on), and he hands me his red heart shape from off his wall, with a perfect pile of poop on it! Michael pooped on my heart! How could I do anything but laugh, he didn't play in it, he didn't even get it on anything, he simply undressed, took the heart off of his wall, and pooped on it. I guess he thought this was an appropriate solution. You see, we have yet to have him actually poop in the potty, but with everything true to Michael, it happened over night.

Needless to say, to be on the safe side, Michael immediately received a bath, and now keeps telling us, about his little incident this morning.

Lesson Learned: Always listen to your children, believe it or not, they are trying to tell you something!

Life. Love. Learning.

I had been keeping a blog awhile ago about just everyday life things, and stopped because I didn't think anyone read it, however I have had people ask me why I stopped writing, so I've decided to write again. However, I won't be able to keep up often, I am so busy, sometimes I don't even know what to do with myself.

Mostly I choose to write about Michael and his progress with Sensory Processing Disorder. Which he has made amazing progress. I have him going to Gymboree, which is a class where he gets to interact with other children, work on his social skills, child interaction, pretend play, and so much more. He loves it, he is thriving! He started speaking in sentences, almost over night. I am a blessed mother, Michael is such a sweet and loving child, he loves to cuddle, but is also such a boy, and enjoys getting dirty, and playing with trains and cars. When I first gave birth to Michael I thought my heart could never hold any more love, but it seems as the days go on, I fall more and more in love with him everyday, he makes me happy. Looking into Michael's eyes, I see the good in the world, I see innocence, I see all the things that makes you believe in happiness!

Michael has taught me about life, to have patience, to have love, and understanding. I want to be someone, someone for him to be proud of.